The Day the Horse Stood Still: A Poem from Royal Ascot

An ode to Accidental Agent, the horse that never got going in his return to the Queen Anne Stakes.

Updated: June 20, 2019 • 1:00 PM ET

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The Queen Anne Stakes had a surprising turn of events this year.

There was a horse, Accidental Agent,

The gate blew open in the Queen Anne, and he just stood very still,

They wished he’d run, but he felt vacant,

And that made all concerned ill.

We aren’t sure of the reason,

Perhaps, he was thinking of other things?

I’d imagine being at Royal Ascot in the summer season,

Reminded of the ghosts of queens and kings.

But, let us not scowl and disparage,

He has the right, you know,

Trainer, jockey and horse are a marriage,

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But it’s horse power that makes the team go.

Back to the Agent, who didn’t move,

It wasn’t by accident that this happened,

But he had a win at Royal A., so what did he have to prove?

Trainer Eve certainly thought in this instance he’d slackened.

So, let’s lay off being too derogatory about this horse,

He is bound to run again for some bills,

At some track, not Ascot of course,

No more will this horse stand still.

Royal Ascot is a five-day event that takes place every June and is presided over by Her Majesty the Queen. On the global horse racing calendar, it is second to none in the opinion of this author. As for Accidental Agent, it should be noted he won the 2018 Queen Anne Stakes at odds of 33-1. Even though the 2019 edition did not go as planned with him standing in place when the gate opened, he is still a great horse. I wish him much success for the future.